TANA TARE DA NI...

TANA TAEW DA NI... PAGE 80
BY MIEMIEBEE


     


      Daidai yakai da bakin k’ofa ya murd’a handle d’in a fusace kenan wayarsa dake aljihunsa yasoma ringing dogon tsuka yaja sannan yaciro wayar ganin new number yasan Anas ne dan kuwa beyi registering numban kowa kan sim d’inba. Wani shu’umin murmushi ya saki sannan ya maida hannun k’ofar ya dawo ciki tare da zama kusa da Fannah. “We are having a call from Anas wifey.” yasake murmusawa. Ba tare da b’ata lokaci ba ya d’aga tare da sawa a handsfree yana shafa hannun Fannah a hankali in a romantic manner se k’ok’arin shuresa take amman takasa.

      “Halo Farouq?” cewar Anas. D’an dariya ya saki “huh! How smart you are Mr. Fauzi harka gano nine na ma wannan big suprise d’in kenan? Well bravo.”
     “Shut up you bastard where is my wife? Ina ka kaimin matata?”
     “You shut up Idiot ko kayi behaving kanka kokuwa har abada baraka sake sa Fannah a idanka ba, mschw!”
     “What do you mean Farouq let her go ka saketa dani kake da problem ba Fannah ba niya kamata ka kama ba ita ba, why are you such a coward?”
       “Coward? Dan na karb’o whats mine shine zaka cemin coward?”
     “Fannah was never yours and never will be-” katse sa yayi “don’t you dare Anas karka sake katseni idan ina magana yanzu ba wannan ba idan kanason sake jin voice na Flowerka you do as I say.”
     “Farouq don’t dare touch her karka kuskura ka tab’a Fannah wallahi I will kill you inhar wani abu ya sameta.”
    “LOL” ya k’yalk’yale da dariya “kill me? Ashe I will dye along with your Flower saboda nikeda iko da ranta yanzu aduk lokacin dana ga dama ina iya kasheta inkazo nima seka kasheni kaga ko semuje mucigaba da soyayyar mu kamar yadda muka saba chan a lahira kaikuma a barka anan.”
 
     “Farouq you are going straight to hell and don’t you dare touch her-”
   “Then behave yourself” ya katsesa.
    “Naji I will karka tab’ata please.”
   “Hohoho did the mighty Mr. Fauzi just said please? Lallai fa kanason Flower nan taka sede ba kamar yadda nakeson taba.”
    “Farouq please shut up kafad’amin inda take banida lokacin jin nonsense naka, ina ka kaimin mata?”
     “In fad’a maka inda take? Karka damu very soon zaka sani sede you’ll pay an amount in return. Kuma the next time ka sake cemin nonsense ka yarda dani baraka sake sa Flowerka a ido ba” ya k’are maganan yana shafa fuskar Fannah.
      “Me kake nufi Farouq? Ransom?”
    “Brilliant sesa nakeson harka da mutane masu ilimi kamarku ransom nake nufi”
    “Farouq kasan meh? You are going straight to hell.”
     “And your Flower is going with me” nan ya d’aga hannu yasake shafo fuskar Fannah da sauri ta kawar da kanta.
     “Ina take yanzu? Taya ma zanyi trusting maqaryaci kaman ka? Taya zan yarda Fannah *_TANA TARE DA KAI?”_*
       “Smart guy barin maka proving” cike da mugunta yasa hannu ya b’antare cellotape dake bakin Fannah wani irin azabartaccen ihu ta sakar wanda Anas yaji har tsakar kansa sannan kuma ta rushe da wani erin wahalallen ihu. Cike da tashin hankali Anas yayi maganar. “Flower! Flower!... Farouq please karka tab’a ta I will do anything dan Allah nace don’t touch her please...”
     “Shhh!” Yace da Fannah yana shafa bayanta har a yanzu bata bar kukan ba, nan ya dawo kan wayar.
     “Mekace Mr. Fauzi?”
    “Anything Farouq please karka tab’ata I will do anything ka had’ani da ita please.”
    “Zan had’aku na minti d’aya in exchange of N500,000 (dubu d’ari biyar) inkuma kanason kaji muryar Flowerka fiye da minti d’aya sekayi multiplying kud’in per minute N500,000 and karka yimin wasa da hankali zan maka sendn bank details d’ina inhar banga alert ba zuwa yamma believe me baraka sake sa Fannah a ido ba.”
        “Farouq are you crazy? Wani irin hauka ne haka?”
    “Fine and good bakason jin muryarta kenan am hanging up” fuskar Fannah ya juya cike da muguntan da yasata sakar da k’ara.
      “Please don’t okay, okay I will ko nawa kakeso zan baka please kadena sata kuka.”
    “Good boy Anas ga Flower ku gaisa kunada minti biyu” nan yasawa Fannah wayar a kunne cikin sautin kuka ta kira sunansa “Habeebi”
     “Shhh! Flower don’t cry kinji?” magana take cike da tashin hankali dakuma tsoro.
     “Habeebi ina tsoro dan Allah stop him yace ze zubar min da ciki, Habeebi ze kashe mana baby, dan Allah ka barsa ka hanasa karka barsa please Hab-” bata k’are maganar ba Farouq ya ciro wayar daga kunnenta “munafirci kike agabana?” Nan ya mik’e “kuma cikin seya zube, sena zubar kina wasa da Farouq.” fashewa tayi dawani erin matsanancin kuka jin haka Anas ya sake kid’imewa
     “Hello...?” Anas yayi maganar cike da tashin hankali.
     “Hello Farouq please speak up.”
    “Meh? Meh? Kana cika min kunne fah.” Cewar Farouq ganin Fannah nada niyyan sake magana yayi sauri ya toshe mata baki da hannunsa d’aya.

       “Farouq dan Allah kabar sata kuka, karka tab’a lafiyar Fannah I beg you ko nawa kakeso zan baka dan Allah karka mata wani abu she is sick already please karka mata wani abu.”
     “Hohoho!!! Mr. Fauzi ashe ka iya rok’an mutum sede kash! Barin bar shegen ajiyar da kayi cikinta yaje ko inaba I must destroy it” jin haka Fannah tacize masa hannu da k’arfin da Allah ya bata take ya jefar da wayar wanda beyi landing ko ina ba sekan cinyan Fannah. K’ara sosai ya saki se buga hannun nasa yake a iska cike da azaba.
     Anan tasamu daman magana “Anas Habeebi please help me dan Allah karka bari yamin wani abu Anas our baby please stop him.”
     “Shhh! Flower bar kuka kinji its bad for your condition kuma in shaa Allah ba abinda ze miki. I won’t rest sena k’wato ki hannun Farouq bar kuka. Kinsan ina ya kaiki? Kinsan address d’in wajen?”
     “Habeebi bansani ba a sume ya taho dani gidan all I know is babban buildin-” bata samu daman k’are maganar ba sakamakon marin da Farouq ya wanketa dashi wanda har cikin kunnen Anas seda yajiyo k’aran marin kuka tasoma papawa ba makawa abin tausayi.
    “Ni zaki ciza? Eh? Bakida hankali ne?! Karki damu by the time na zubar da shegen abinda ke cikinki zaki shiga hankalinki mschw!” ya sake kallon hannun nasa a fusace sannan ya katse wayar tare da cire sim d’in ya taune sannan ya yasar. Kuka sosai Fannah ke kamar zata cire ranta. Wayanta dake kan gado ne ya soma ringing Farouq na dubawa yaga Habeebi wani dogon tsuka yaja sannan ya katse wayar nan Anas ya sake bugawa Farouq na katsewa kusan sau uku se a karo na haud’u Farouq ya d’aga.

      Cike da tashin hankali Anas ke maganar “Farouq please karka ma Fannah wani abu, karka rabata da babynta ko nawa kakeso zan baka please don’t do such evil please karka rabata da abinda ke cikinta ka fad’a ko nawa kakeso zan baka please Farouq...”
      “Huh! Let me see yanzu senayi tunani, zaman da zanyi dan gudanar da tunanin is 2 million sannan inna yanke hukunci sanar dakai zanyi nanma 2 million, kanaji na?”
     “Inaji Farouq wannan ba matsala bane please karka mata wani abu batada lafiya she is your sister please karka mata wani abu.”
     “Naji seka fad’a mata karta min misbehaving if not I might lose my patience.”
     “Okay zan mata ka bata wayar please.”
     “Kasani each minutes costs N500,000 d’azu kunyi 2 minutes 1 mil kenan.”
     “Farouq yaushe mukayi 2 minutes ba katse wayar kayi ba?”
     “Then fine zan kashe wayar-” da wuri Anas ya katse sa, “A’a please kar ka katse I will pay just give her the phone.”
    “Good” nan ya maido da kallonsa kanta “ke! Gashi sauran kimasa wani munafircin kiga in ban rabaki da shegen dake cikin ki ba.” Hannu d’aya ya since mata tare da bata wayan sannan ya yi gefe guda a d’akin yana me zuba mata ido.

       “Flower kinaji na?” cewar Anas. Cikin sautin kuka ta amsa “eh Habeebi.”
    “Good kibar kuka kinji? And kiyi duk wani abinda ya buk’ace ki muddin be sab’awa muslinchi ba I promise I will let yo out of there, I love you.”
    “Habeebi I miss you please karka d’au lokaci kazo ka d’aukeni, I don’t trust Ya Farouq dan Allah Habeebi.”
    “Flower stop panicking and do as he says I will come in shaa Allah kinji? Kibar kuka zeyi affecting lafiyarki, I love you.”
     “I love you too Habeebi, I love you so much.” Kafin Anas yasake cewa wani abu Farouq ya fisge wayan “time up!” ya sanar da Anas.
   “Farouq please ka bata wayan I will pay you.”
    “Nasani sede kakai limit naka na yau sekuma gobe if you are lucky.”
     “Please Farouq.”
    “Why being so insistant? Wallahi ka sake roqana baraka sake magana da ita ba mschw!!”
     “Okay but please Farouq feed her kabata abinci kasan condition nata zama da yunwa won’t help.” Kallon faracunsa yake sannan yace, “aww! kana nufin wai shegen cikin dake jikinta?”
    “Eh shi Farouq dan Allah feed her karka barta da yunwa.”
    “Toh ai banida kud’in bata kalan abincin data saba ci a gidanka ka turo kud’i kamar miliyan d’aya haka se a siya mata abinci me kyau.”
   “Okay I will do it, zanyi just kar ka barta da yunwa.”
    “Naji kana cika min kunne zan maka sending acct details d’ina sauran ka b’ata a irgen kud’ina kaga tashin hankali” yana kaiwa nan ya katse wayar nan da nan yatura wa Anas acct details nasa ba tare da b’ata lokaci ba Anas yama PA’nsa magana akayi ma Farouq transfering 7 million yana zaune a gefen Fannah yana gasa mata bak’ak’en kalamu alert yashigo ta wayarsa bayan ya duba ya sakar dawani shu’umin murmushi “wifey mijin nakin nan baya wasa now you can have your lunch tunda ya cika alk’awari” wani number yayi dialing a wayarsa;
     “Okay angama had’a dining d’in?”
    “Eh Boss angama komai is ready.”
    “Good!” nan ya katse. Igiyoyin da yabi ya k’ulle mata jiki dasu yabi ya sissince “tashi muje kichi abinci wifey.” K’in miqewa tayi cike da mugunta ya miqar da ita daga saman hannunta k’ara soai ta sakar haka ba tausayi yajata zuwa wani had’ad’d’en d’akin da aka tsara sa as dining room dogon table ne wanda aka cika sa dam da abinci kala kala wane (feast) kujeru biyu ne kad’ai a both ends na table d’in kujera d’aya yaja mata ya zaunar da ita sannan yakoma nasa shima ya zauna.
 
      “Eat my lady duka wannan naki ne kichi babynki yasamu yaci shima kafin in rabaki dashi.”
      “Ya Farouq mesa kake haka? Me na maka? Yanzu zakaso ache kanada sister sannan wani yana mata haka?”
    Fork yakai baki “unfortunately banida sister so kichi abinci.”
     “Kabani dalili d’ayan da zesa inchi wannan abincin, nasani ko kasa abinda ze zubar min da ciki aciki, banaso.”
    “Wifey kinga karki min rashin kunya anan eat.”
    “Barin chiba Ya Farouq dan Allah ka fitar dani daga nan ka kaini gida gun mijina please.” Banza da ita yayi ya d’au wayarta ya kira Anas ringing d’aya Anas ya d’ga “hello.”
     “Mr. Fauzi”
   “Na’am Farouq baka ga alert d’in bane?”
   “Nagani kama Fannah magana tadena cika min kunne da surutu I might lose my patience and if that happens zaku iya rasa shegen ku.”
     “Kabata wayar please I will talk to her.”
   “Na fad’a maka ka riga kayi exhausting time naku na yau.”
    “Nasani Farouq ka taimaka please.” Ido yama mutumin dake gefensan tare da miqa masa wayan yakai wa Fannah.

      “Hello Flower please kichi abincin kinji? Ko kinason abu ya samu babynmu?” Kai ta kad’a wane yana kallonta.
    “Kinaso?”
    “A’a banaso Habeebi bansani ba koyayi poisoning abincin.”
     “Beyi ba Flower in shaa Allah beyi ba kichi kinji? I’m coming for you I love you.” Bata samu tace masa she loves him too ba mutumin ya k’wace wayan.
      Plate d’in ta jawo tayi bismillah sannan takai kad’an daga cikin pepper soup d’in kifin bakinta a hankali tasamu tad’an cika cikinta fargaba ya hanata k’oshiwa. Bayan sun gama ya buk’ace ta data bi bayansa. “Ya Farouq kai baka Sallah ne? Dukda bansan k’arfe nawa bane amman nasan Azahar da La’asar sun wuceni.”
     “Ohh wifey ni ai banayi had’asu nake duka se isha zan yi amman tunda kince haka taho in rakaki” bejira tace komai ba yaja hannunta zuwa d’akinsu daya tanar masu har cikin bayin ya rakata “ko kinason kiyi wanka?”

       “I wouldn’t mind tunda ba a cikin k’azanta ka d’aukoni ba” tabasa amsa tana me k’arewa bayin kallo mamaki ne yacika ta shin ina Farouq yasamu kud’i haka? Daya karanchi hakan seya murmusa “mamaki kike? Karki damu ba sata nayi ba bashi na karb’a kuma har na miyar musu da kud’in da Anas yaturon” sede har a yanzu bata bar kallonsa ba nufin bata da yarda ba.
    “Wallahi kuwa wifey ko mamakin ya akayi nasan gidanku kike? LOL long story;”

      _“Da barina prison yanzu sati biyu kenan bashin danaci na yi mana wannan siyayyan shine wanda Baba yayi amfani dashi yayi bailing d’ina kuma drugs ne source na kud’in. Inada wani abokin dake siyar da coccaine shine yabani bashin miliyan 5 dashi na aiwatar da komai. Bayan fitowana da kwana biyu na shirya tsaf naje Enterprise na Habeebinki namusu k’arya cewa business man ne ni ina kuma neman appointment dashi sam receptionist d’in ta hanani ganinsa saboda nak’i bata personal information akaina, me gadin wajen nasamu na tsara sa har seda ya fad’amin k’arfe nawa Anas yake tashi daga office anan ne nasamu nayi timing nasa bayan da aka tashi na biyosa anan ne na ga gidanku. Dalilin dayasa nasan rana kinfita kuma bada Anas ba kuwa itace yawan zama dana keyi a unguwanku ganin driver yazo ya d’aukanku naje na shirya nima, dawowa na yayi daidai da shigowarku achan na tsare driver bayan ya ajiyeki namasa tsinannen duka dan k’in bani had’in kai dayayi, seda nayi pulling masa bindiga ya yarda yakaini ciki. Dana jima da kashesa sede kuma naji anacewa security doors ne a gidan naku inba wanda yasani ba baya bud’uwa._ Any question wifey?”

     Kai kawai take kad’awa tana tausayawa d’an uwan nata kalan rayuwar daya d’au ma kansa. “Allah shiryeka Ya Farouq inhar kaid’in me shiryuwa ne shikuma Moosa daka rufesa a d’aki so kake ya mutu ne? Ka tuna d’an Adam ne shima mejin yunwa.”
     “Karki damu wifey your wish is my command yanzu yi wanka abinki cikin wardrobe akwai kaya seki zab’a d’aya ciki kisa, I love you.” Tsuka taja “wifey I said I love you.”
    “I hate you Ya Farouq na tsaneka.” Bakinta ya maquro “what did you say?”
    “I said I hate you, ka sakemin fuska mugu kawai” tahau kai masa bugi.
    “Quit it!” Ya daka mata tsawa. “Kin d’au wasa nake ko?” Hannu yasa ya yage mata hijabi tun daga sama har k’asa kafin ta hankara ya had’a ta da  bango tare da kai hancinsa wuyanta yana wani shunshuna mata jiki. Hannayenta daya matse jikin bangon take ta k’ok’arin k’watansu amman takasa. “Ya Farouq dan Allah kabari” ganin yasoma wuce gona da iri ta qurma wani irin ihu dukda haka be dena gudanar da abinda yayi niyyah ba dabara ce ta fad’o mata k’afanta ta d’aga ta saita daidai abinsa takai masa bugi da k’arfi wani erin k’ara ya saki cike da azaba take a wajen ya durk’ushe anan ne tasamu ta k’wata kanta tare da d’ago hijabinta tana kare k’irjinta dashi.


 
*© MIEMIBEE*