BEHIND OUR LOVE...

BEHIND OUR LOVE... CHAPTER 46
BY MIEMIEBEE



        IZZY'S POV;

            I remained there crying I can't afford to lose Ryan, why is destiny not  being fair on me.

       “Izzy there you are! Omg! What are you doing sprawled on the floor? Stand up its embarrassing” Fiona shouts from far behind. I can here her footsteps approaching. “Gosh! Izzy why are you crying? Please get up” she hoists me up and we sat on a bench. “Stop crying please its bad for your current situation, where is Ryan?” I didn't answer her instead I just shook my head sideways. “He is gone?” she asked and I nodded still crying.

      “Oh No! You poor girl.” She embraced me trying to comfort me, it took me long before I stopped crying. I raised my head up and looked at her. “Fiona!” she answered with a nod. “Am I really such a bad person?”

     Not getting where I was heading to she shook her head sideways. “No Izzy, you're not at all a bad person.”

    “Then why is destiny showing me that?”

     “Showing you what Izzy?”

    “Can't you see how messed up my life is? The only place where I get laugh is here school and now the school is also as hell as how my home is. Why do I seem having problems with all the men I bring into my life. Why don't they ever stay? Even those that do stay just make my life miserable Fiona.” She wiped off my tears and leaned my face on her chest, gently rubbing her palm against my arm. “Shhhh! don't talk like that, lets say everything happen for a reason. You do love Ryan don't you?” I nodded. She adds “Theres this love saying that says
           To be inlove you must be ready to get hurt. You hurt when you love but because of the love we have for that person, we hold on tight.
 
       This is exactly what you must do now, never lose hope Izzy. I know Ryan he likes you too he is just being mad soon he'll come back to you again.”

     “No Fiona, Ryan told me he loves me too but that he is never coming back to me” I narrated everything to her.

    “Huh!” She sighed “you are having such a hard time dear but soon everything will be back to normal okay?” I nodded at her. “Now lets go lectures is starting soon.” She picked up my bag for me and we went.

       My mind was somewhere else through out the lectures, I didn't understand a thing. When it was time for lunch we went to the cafeteria, I was hoping to see Ryan but he was nowhere to be found and I felt like crying again. I'm missing him already, I need him I don't want to lose him.

     When school closed, Fiona asked her husband not come to pick her because she said she's going to escort me to the hospital. We first went and withdrawed the money April sent me before heading to the Teaching Hospital. After taking all the processes we are finally waiting to see a doctor. Not long enough my name was called and we did entered the room together.

      After a full explanation to the woman doctor about how I'm feeling, she told me lots about pregnancy, about what I should do and not do then she writes down some drugs for me before scanning my tommy. It showed that i'm carrying a 7weeks (one month 3weeks) old baby. I really can't tell you how happy I am even though the pregnancy is the main reason of Ryan and I fighting, I still love my baby very much and I'm ready to sacrifice my life for it. I can't let anything happen to it, if something bad does happen to my baby then I'll never forgive myself. This is just how much I love my baby.

      We stopped by a chemist and bought all the drugs from there the taxi dropped me first, before taking Fiona. Fiona is such a kind hearted person I can't afford losing a friend like her.

       Entering into my house, I saw James sitted on his everyday sofa watching an action movie. Our eyes met as I opened the door and I quickly  averted my gaze and hurriedly left the sitting room to my room, looking at James' face disgusts me now. I took a shower and changed into a floor length loose gown. Immediately I came out of my room to prepare lunch, after I was done I went back to my room. After finishing my lunch I took my medicines as how the doctor prescribed I should.

      Lying on my bed to have some rest, the thought of what happened between Ryan and I earlier today hits my mind and I start to think deep about it, just then I remembered what the doctor told me about not to involve myself much in thoughts always and for my baby's safety I tried to do so. I brought out my phone and decided to call Ryan. For the first time it rang but he didn't picked it up and when I tried for the second time he declined the call, for the third time he switched his phone off.

      I forced myself into sleeping...

        I woke up around 7pm in the evening and I felt nausea, I instantly hate the fragrance of my home. I always like it but now NO it makes me wants to throw up and before I could stop myself, I hurriedly ran into my bathroom and threw out all that I've ate for lunch, my stomach is empty now. After handling the bathroom, I followed the wall and came back to my room. I first of all laid on my bed then it's becoming uncomfortable I got down and laid on the bare tile flow.

    There, its more than comfortable there unless that the fragrance is disturbing me. So I brought out a small hanky and covered my nose with. I stayed like that for almost an hour until I was starting to get hungry. I lazilly stood up and followed the wall to my kitchen covering my nose.

      I decided to cook indomie again, as I was waiting for the water to boil, I laid on the tile flow which is so cool, even cooler than the one in my room. From there I didn't know how I slept off.

     The water boiled and bliled until it evaporated, the pot started burning and I was all asleep didn't know what is happening. It was James who came and turned off the gas. Everywhere was smelling and smoked. Like in a dream I heard a manly voice calling out my name. “Izzy! Are you stupid? Will you get up from there?”

      I quietly opened my eyes and saw how the kitchen was all smoked, I stood up instantly and I was coughing rapidly. Omi'god the water what have I done? I checked inside the pot and saw there was no water in it, it must have evaporated James stood there glaring at me.

      “You know you can kill yourself if you want to I wouldn't care or mind but don't you dare try to kill us both, such a careless human being” he state in his husky deep voice and hissed. I didn't mind talking back at him or even explaining stuffs to him 'cause he aiint worth my time.

       Ignoring him, I picked up a cup and left to the dining area I prepared coffee just as I was about to enter my room James voice caught me. “Am I not talking to you Izzy? What are you feeling like? A queen or princess?” He hissed. “What got into that stupid head of yours that made you forget you were cooking?”

     Without turning to look at his stupid face I said “didn't you see for yourself that I slept off?” I hissed also “excuse me please I have alot of things to take care of.” Entering my room I slammed the door so hard and left him with an open mouth.

     The following day I woke up extremely ill as in sick like never before I didn't even knew I could make it through the night. I'm taking my medicines well I don't know why the sickness seems to be getting worse I bet I can't go to school today. I covered my whole body with my blanket and returned to sleep although I wasn't feeling sleepy but I have to force myself so as to get more rest.

      By 9am I heard my phone buzzing, I slothfully picked it up without even checking who was calling.

    “Hello Izzy? Are you not coming to school today?”

    “Fiona, I'm sorry I can't make it today my body is just getting worse, is this how all pregnancy are? God bless our parents.”

        “Sorry dear, you take care okay? Maybe I will come over today.”

    “Okay” I answered back “will be waiting for you. Aha! What of Ryan have you guys met?”

      “No not yet,I'm hoping later. What of you didn't you call him yestarday?”

      “I did called him Fiona, he wasn't picking my call he is still mad. I'm feeling like he'll forevr be mad at me, I like him Fiona and I don't wanna lose him.”

     “You shouldn't be bothered about Ryan now all you need to do is to take care of yourself.”

       “I'm bothered about both Fiona. Its all this pregnancy, he can comprehend my marriage to James but not the pregnancy, I'm such an idiot I should have told him i'm married since before I got pregnant maybe things wouldn't have turned out to be bad as they are now. I do love Ryan theres no denying in that.”

     “Izzyyyy! Please stop it, make sure you take your drugs okay? When I come over later we'll discuss about this I'm hanging up.”

   I sluggishly pulled out myself out of my bed, my stomach's been groaning since. I brushed my teeth. Opening my door I saw James standing right next to it. A gasp suddenly made it way out of my mouth, my sleepy eyes dilated.

      Believe me when I say this I've never seen James like this I mean not only him but any other human like this. He was tensed with anger, he was burning, his face turned into red tomatoe, he was breathing so hard. His eyes are all red, as in bloody red, his brown eye balls became darker.

    Oh God No! Don't tell me James have been eavesdropping on me and have heard all that I've said to Fiona on the phone about the pregnancy and Ryan. Omg! No I'm dead I'm dead before I could raise up my head to look at him again. He snatched my arm and placed a hot, I mean a damn hot slap on my face, I've never been slapped so hard like this by anyone before even James. I became deaf for the meantime